The Happy Hooker

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We all know that prostitution has been going on forever. It’s even always been sanctioned by most societies—you know, no big deal, a fact of life. In movies about the Old West, for example, you’d always see the town brothel or saloon frequented by the mayor and judge and sheriff, all the important dignitaries in town being serviced by the girls-for-hire on the premises. There was no crime being committed. Everybody was getting what they wanted. It wasn’t until some enterprising black men began to take advantage of the situation, and as pimps, excuse me, personal managers, began to make a lot of money, that they were not paying taxes on, that Whitey decided to step in and deem the whole practice to be against the law. Now it was all right while they were doing it, but they didn’t want any black people capitalizing on such a lucrative endeavor, taking the profits away from themselves.

Then, too, all the time when black slave women were held captive against their will and forced to submit to their masters, overseers and whomever, it, too, was considered no big deal and a non-criminal act. But when it was white women in the same situation, only then did it become a crime and given a name: white slavery. But at least the white girls sometimes did get paid for their services, even if it was not consensual. Whitey never encouraged or even allowed blacks to be creatively enterprising, unless they were benefiting themselves.

All throughout Harlem and other predominately-black communities the Numbers game was a major business activity that almost everyone participated in. Of course, it was deemed illegal, therefore they had to operate on the down-low. But then the Mafia (and whoever else) got wind of it and, of course, wanted a piece of the action themselves, and it eventually came out into the open and legally sanctioned as the Lottery, Powerball, Off-Track Betting and all the other mainstream gambling and “numbers” rackets.

“The World’s Oldest Profession” still catches flak from conservative prudes. I’ve heard housewives on the talk shows lambaste and denounce the prostitutes and kept mistresses that come on as guests on the shows. But these hypocritical hausfraus don’t think about the fact that they are not much different than the hookers that they are badmouthing. The only difference is that the wives are licensed prostitutes. Marriage makes it legal and therefore acceptable. Think about it. What does a housewife do? She takes care of her man by cooking for him, keeping his house clean and provides sexual favors for him in exchange for free room and board, occasional gifts and regular pay for her services. Prostitutes and mistresses get the same benefits, but they don’t have to marry the guy!

There are wives who actually barter sex with their husbands. If he wants it, he has to give her something in return. So what do you call that? Do you know that the word hussy: a shameless wench or prostitute, is derived from housewife? And who do these wives think are keeping these hookers in business? Why, their husbands, of course! Don’t they know that most of these girls’ regular clients are married men? Single men ordinarily don’t have to sneak around and pay for sex. It’s those in committed relationships that tend to have to get it on the sly.

And how about those female therapists who call themselves “sexual surrogates,” whose clients are men who have trouble relating to their wives or women in general or have some other sexual problem? These women—who are not doctors, just licensed “therapists”—are paid lots of money, per session, to help these men with their problems by having sex with them. So, what is that?! Then you have your female gold-diggers who make their living playing men for what they can get out of them. I’ve heard some of them claim that they don’t even have to put out to get rewards from these men. They just give them their time and companionship in exchange for gifts and monetary favors. Well, your high-priced call girls do the same thing. They don’t always have to have sex with their johns either. Many of these guys are into fetishes, fantasy and role-playing, which often don’t even involve actual intercourse. They pay the women for their time and compliance.

It has now been reported that oral sex is the new goodnight kiss. All over the country high-school teenaged girls regularly are giving blow jobs to their male classmates in exchange for favors. “Jason, I will suck your dick if you do my math homework for me.” “Okay!” The girls that are old enough to date and go to parties and clubs where there may be older men in attendance, will actually hustle these men for a little action. “If I’m going to be doing this anyway, I might as well get some money out of it.” But these wives, mistresses, surrogates, gold-diggers and schoolgirls will flatly deny that they are prostitutes, when, in fact, that’s exactly what they are.

But I say, So what? A prostitute is not the worst thing in the world to be. This further confirms my point about the sexual promiscuity of women. There have always been prostitutes in every nation of the world, and a woman who abhors sex would not willingly choose it as their life‘s profession. So they must like having sex or they wouldn’t be doing it, would they? Some will complain, “I have to sell my body. I don’t know how to do anything else.“ Well, the fact is, my dear, you don’t have to do that. If you don’t know how to do anything else, then learn how to do something else! If not, then that must be what you really want to do.

Look at it this way. I have been a singer all my life. It’s what I do. And I sing whether I get paid or not. I don’t always like every gig that I get. I may not like the music or the conductor, for instance. But since it’s my job, I just tolerate it, take the money and run. By the same token, realize that sex is a part of life. It’s what humans do with each other. So if sex is something that you enjoy, are good at it and would be doing it anyway, why not get paid for it if you can? You most likely will not be into every trick that you encounter, but just do your job. That’s what you are being paid for.

People also get so indignant when they are called whores and sluts and tramps and such. I mean, if that’s what you are, then just own up to it. The dictionary regards slut to pertain to a woman, but I don’t think that human behavior should apply to only one gender. There are sexually-promiscuous men, too, which would make them sluts as well. I know that I am a whore and a slut and I’m not at all ashamed to admit it, although I have slowed down considerably, as I get older. My state of mind is still slutful, however, whether I act upon it excessively or not. The ones who do criticize and name-call are probably just jealous because they are not getting it as much as they’d like to, if at all.

A friend of mine once told me about the night he spent in a hotel with a woman. During their session of lovemaking they got a little loud, which prompted the single lady next door to them to come over and knock on their door with the complaint that the noise was disturbing her and would they please keep it down. I commented that if that spiteful bitch had been in her room getting her brains fucked out, she wouldn’t be complaining, would she? She’s not getting any action, so nobody else should have any fun either. I love hearing the sounds of sex from other people. It pleases me to know that others are getting it on. You go, girls and/or boys!

Since it takes two to tango, one cannot be a whore all by oneself. It is a consensual activity. So if prostitution is considered an illegal activity in most places, why are only the paid girls (or boys) harassed and arrested most of the time? That’s not fair. All they are doing is providing a needed service, so the people who solicit this service should be held just as responsible for it. One party cannot function without the other’s support and patronage. That’s why I don’t think bad of the gold-diggers. They couldn’t do what they do if they didn’t have willing participants. I do realize, though, that the solicitors are now more subject to arrest, but it’s usually the result of undercover vice entrapment. I suppose it’s primarily the street hookers who are at the greatest risk for arrest. The vice squad can’t monitor those who do their business behind closed doors. But wherever they choose to do it, it should be allowed.

How can you blame one for doing something when another party is providing them the direct means to do it? Just as there are laws (at least on the books) against reproducing copyrighted material (published music, films, sound recordings, etc.), but then we have photocopy machines, scanners, VCRs and now rewriteable CDs and DVD copiers at our disposal which allow us to do that very thing. What are professional performers if not prostitutes? Singers, dancers (exotic and otherwise), actors, musicians, circus performers, athletes, prizefighters, wrestlers, what-have-you, all are paid to provide public pleasure, that is, to entertain people. We are selling ourselves in some way or another, depending on our particular talent. You pay me money and I’ll sing for you, I’ll dance for you, whatever you want me to do. So we are all prostitutes and get paid in exchange for personal favors or services. Sometimes it’s sexual, but it doesn’t have to be. So then, by the same token, the agents and managers of performing artists are actually euphemized pimps and madams. They offer, promote and exploit their clients and in turn receive a percentage of the money that is paid to them for their particular services. If their people don’t work, then they don’t get paid.

By the way, PIMP stands for, “Put It in My Pocket“–that is, “Show Me the Money.“ This pimp and prostitute business arrangement (and you can call them anything you want, but it’s all the same) is the way of the world and nothing to demean or demoralize. Everybody’s doing it, let’s face it. In male/female relationships, especially, there are very few women, whether they be willing or not, who are not used or exploited for money in some way by men, therefore, some sort of prostitute.

And everyone can be bought, too. An attractive, young female executive, attending a business function for her company, was being hit on by a male associate. The guy asked her, “Hey, sweet thing, would you have sex with me if I paid you $50?” She answered, “Of course not!” “How about for $100?” “No.” “Two hundred?” “My good man, what kind of woman do you take me for?” “Well, I thought that we had already established that. All we’re doing now is haggling about your price.” Who would be prudish or adamant enough not to have sex with somebody for any amount of money? Everybody, including men, has their price. As poor as I often am, I certainly don’t turn down money when it’s offered.

3,234 thoughts on “The Happy Hooker”

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