Philosophical Epigrams

What follows is a list of my personal beliefs and special guidelines to life.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
“An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth” leaves everyone blind and toothless.
There are no accidents.
Everything happens for a reason.
People are the way they are for a reason.
There is nothing new under the sun.
There’s no place like home.
Home is where the heart is.
We make our own Heaven and Hell right here on earth.
Judge not lest ye be judged.
They who is without any sin may cast the first stone.
Forgive us our trespasses.
I can forgive even if I don’t forget.
To err is human, to forgive, divine.
To go together is blessed, to come together, divine.
Nobody’s perfect.
There is some good in everybody.
You cannot please everybody.
I don’t put anything past anybody.
I am not one to gossip, but…
I tend to confirm gossip and hearsay by going right to the source.
There are at least two sides to every story.
People believe what they want to believe.
Just because you yourself don’t believe something, it doesn’t mean that it’s not true.
People will believe a lie more readily than they will the truth.
Oh, what a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive.
Honesty is the best policy (ideally).
To thine own self be true.
And the truth shall set you free.
Truth needs no justification.
I calls ’em as I sees ’em.
People will get away with only what you let them get away with.
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
Don’t try to bullshit another bullshitter.
Don’t should on me and I won’t should on you.
You cannot get away from yourself, because wherever you go, there you are!
It takes two to tango.
You’ve got to have a gimmick.
Misery loves company.
Your temper is one thing you can’t get rid of by losing it.
Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
I’ll try most anything at least once, except marriage and heroin.
Assume nothing (to assume makes an ass out of you and me).
Nothing is forever.
Nothing is sacred.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Respect yourself.
Get over yourself.
Tempus fugit.
Chacun à son goût.
Que será será.
Live and let live.
The meaning of life: Don’t just sit there–do something!
If you don’t like your life, change it.
Variety is the spice of life.
Laughter is the shock-absorber of life.
Life imitates art and vice versa.
Life goes on.
Life is what you do while you’re waiting to die.
Life is what you make it.
Life is too short.
Life is a cabaret (old chum).
Work is what you do for others; art is what you do for yourself.
You don’t miss the water until the well runs dry.
Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?
Everything in moderation.
The love of money is the root of most evil.
It’s always about money.
Take the money and run.
Love is blind (and deaf, in some cases).
Love conquers all.
It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.
Friendship is the foundation of any lasting relationship.
Trust is a two-way street.
You can be betrayed only by someone you trust.
Those who can, do; those who can’t, criticize.
Always be thankful for what you have instead of complaining about what you don’t have.
You’ve got to do with what you got.
If you’ve got it, flaunt it.
I ain’t got no shame (doin’ what I like to do).
The more, the merrier (within reason).
So many men, too little time.
Ain’t nothin’ like the real thing.
Reality is only a state of mind.
Age and maturity are states of mind.
Age is merely a number.
Age matters only if you are a cheese.
Aging is not a curse but a privilege.
You shouldn’t underestimate old people; we didn’t get to be old by being stupid.
I try to say what I mean and mean what I say.
I always put things back where I find them.
What goes around, comes around.
Ignorance is bliss.
You are what you eat.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
There is a thin line between pleasure and pain.
If you want something done your way, do it yourself.
When there is a will, there is a way.
Sleeping is a waste of time.
Every goodbye ain’t gone; every shuteye ain’t sleep; every lie-still ain’t dead.
Every litter bit hurts.
There is a sucker born every minute.
Be careful what you wish for, because you may get it.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can do permanent damage.
There is always a choice.
The only thing that we have to do is die.
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Black don’t crack.
All the world’s a stage, and we all are merely actors.
Play the scene.
The early bird may get the worm, but it’s the second mouse that gets the cheese.
If you lie down with dogs, you will get up with fleas.
The higher a monkey climbs, the more of his ass is revealed.
One monkey don’t stop the show.
No one is indispensable.
It’s always something.

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